The main problem I have with a lot of critics out there is that they don’t critique a movie based on its genre. Some of the best action movies don’t have stellar acting, don’t really have a great story, but do give us some kick-ass action.

Here’s the way I look at it. An action movie is supposed to deliver action, a comedy is supposed to make you laugh, a horror is supposed to scare you, and a drama is…er…um…what the hell is a drama supposed to do…oh yeah, I know, bore you to death.

Nothing makes me more frustrated when you see a write-up for a new action movie by a high-brow critic and he starts talking about the lack of story, or the acting was poor, or that it was hard to buy into the premise. It’s an action movie for fuck’s sake, what about the action? Did you see any action? Was it cool? Did it make you go “hell yeah!”. If so, it probably succeeded.

So here is my personal rating system for action movies. Critics take heed.

1. Action. Was there a lot of it and was it cool and/or original. Action can include things like car chases, gun fights, war, fight scenes, etc. Remember the opening scene of Saving Private Ryan?
2. Special Effects. Not all action movies go heavy with the special effects, but these days there is always some. Were the special effects done well and were they used to enhance the movie or just there for their own sake. Avatar is the ultimate example of F/X done right.
3. Hero. In my opinion, all action movies have to have a kick-ass hero that the audience can identify with and root for. Can you imagine not rooting for John McClane?
4. Villain. If you’re going to have an awesome hero, then you need an equally menacing villain for him to take down. Usually a hero is only as good as the villain is bad. Darth Vader anyone?
5. Pacing. An action movie is supposed to be fast-paced. Yes, we can slow down a little to tell the hero’s back story if we must, or perhaps throw a little bit of love interest in there for the sake of our wives, but really this sucker should just barrel along like a bus that can’t slow down.
6. Believability. When I say this I mean that within the world that the movie has presented us the viewer must believe that what he or she sees could actually happen. The Matrix is a perfect example. Even though Agent Smith can move impossibly fast and Morpheus can jump from building to building, we believe it because we know they are inside a computer.

In my opinion these are the big six. Other elements such as hot girls, body count, cool gadgets/weapons, wicked deaths, great martial arts, vicious creatures, blood, etc. can also be part of the package, but aren’t paramount to making a great action movie.

The other component of a strong action movie that I would be remiss if I didn’t mention is creating action that is relevant to the style of the action movie. What I mean by this is that if you’re making a movie about a group of marines who take on an alien species, then there better be some kick-ass battles. If you’ve made a movie about a guy who is a treasure hunter and will do anything to find what he’s looking for, then you better put him in a lot of impossible situations and have him get himself out of them in cool and inventive ways.

I guess what I’m trying to get across here is, if you make a war movie, make it have cool battles, if you’re making a car movie, make it have great car chases, if you’re filming a martial arts movie, make sure the martial arts fights are top-notch. No-one wants to go see a movie about convicts on death row racing tricked out cars to the death and then not see great car races where people die in cool ways.

So all you critics out there, professional or personal, the next time you see an action movie, think about why you’ve chosen to go see it over the other movies at the theatre. Think (yes I said think) about the elements that make up the best action movies and then rate the movie accordingly.

Wolvie out.